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Every day I kept crying, day and night. I kept thinking of Sabi. I kept thinking, who will be my next love but I'm scared that she will do the same thing to me as what Sabi did. I prayed to God to give me a good life partner but I think my life won't last long and I could never love again. Pra-she's cute but she doesn't love me. Sangi-she's too young. That’s the only girls that I respected in heart... It was long till I've seen her. I think I forgot how she looked like. She usually taught me how to make things better, she made me feel right, she protected me, she gave me place in her heart, when people tease us together, she would act in a way that I am confident that she loves me too and she gave me strength at every step I took especially in my studies. Now she's not beside me, so I slacked. Everything changed. She's everywhere in my mind and I kept imagining her beside her or watching me... I think she won’t care about our untold relationship. He won’t make the first move… and that proves her a coward… But I love her although she's shy and cowardly because she has a good and kind heart. I know a lot of boys chasing after her and I'm one of them. To her, I am just a normal boy without no good-looking face, no talents, no money and no love. That’s what she think of me, maybe… I longed to hear her voice and see her face but God never gave permission on meeting us. I have a lot to say in my heart but…My friends won’t care, they just think of themselves…Sometimes they dump me. Oh why!

I don’t want to face them. I am shy because I am not the same person that they knew since the day I lose in touch with Sabi. Now I feel like crying.

Nobody understands. Neither my family nor my friends.

To you, Sabi, it seems a small love but to me, it’s really big. You don’t know what problems we encountered and we went through a lot of stuff in life. She gave me strength and she is like my oxygen that I am breathing… I need her a lot. I just want to say I miss you. My only wish is to say I love you and would never disturb her again and by doing that, I'll be safer, relieved and happy because I got to tell her and I got to leave her in a safer way. I carried on loving her without no heartaches. I remembered the day while we were at camp. It was fun. She was… oh well, I don’t wanna write it because it brings back the happy memories. Okay… the most best part was… She protected me when a car attacked purposely to me. I was impressed but after I thought for a while, it was just a natural movement…


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