Well, who doesn’t? Maybe intensely, passionately or probably just a little sadly. Whether he/she is still by your side or just a memory that causes a sweet heartache, first loves are the treasured parts of our lives.
Years and decades must have passed, but just thinking about our first loves seems to send our hearts aflutter. But have we really analysed what exactly is it that grips our imaginations, even five, ten, twenty years past the fact? No matter what the reasons for our break up, the one we first loved seems to be a part of our consciousness forever. Is it that we can't forget the person or we wish not to? Or rather who would want to?
Whenever we talk about our first love, it's like just yesterday we were dating them. It is not that we haven't made an effort, but we still manage to remember what he/she looked like and how much we loved him/her. Every little detail is remembered very clearly; the age difference, the smile, the eyes, the connection, just about everything.
Another important reason why we do not forget our first love is because whatever was done was done passionately.
When it comes to our first love, we are passionate about loving each other, fighting with each other and also hurting each other. And even if you meet your first love after years, a glance is enough to light up your day. You may be happy in your own household, with your spouse and children, but the chemistry still exists, and the best part is you both are happy for each other. Well, some flames might still be alive somewhere, especially if one of the partners is still single. You may never want to interfere in his/her life again, but you can't keep him/her out of your mind either.
Why can't we forget our first love after all?
Love letters, gifts, tapes, soft toys - you might let go off your first love, but it is not easy to let go off the precious gifts. The instant heat and the undeniable attraction which was there years ago still exist in these subtle forms. Every once in a while there comes a moment when we are reunited with our first love. Such moments can be bittersweet, but they surely leave you wondering; what actually went wrong? It happens sometimes, you realise that your first love is your true love and you make long term plans of settling down. But owing to certain circumstances you end up with someone else. Years later, when you meet again the fire burns as brightly. The reason being, that probably not love but affection and chemistry still exists somewhere in their hearts. Some of us are lucky enough to get things right the first time. Once we found him/her, we never let them go. But for all those who weren't that lucky, keep in mind that it was your first love that made you wiser and older and taught you things that you wouldn't have learnt otherwise.
Firstly you have to want to feel better and work for it. If you do not want to help yourself, no one else can help you. Indulge yourself. Do things that make you happy, or used to make you happy. Go shopping with your friends. Focus on the good, and not the bad. Try not to think negatively. Think about how much fun you used to have. Do not think that life is over because someone has left you, it's not!
Find another girl/guy. This may seem impossible, but it will be for the best. There are enough people; you are lying to yourself if you think you cannot find another person to love who will love you back.
Act silly! Laugh! Rent a comedy you enjoy, and sit and just laugh! Laughing makes everyone feel better. Don't sulk at home. Sit in a lighted area, get outside and get some sun! Being in the dark just adds to your feelings of sadness. Take up a hobby. Write, paint, sculpt, scribble, go to the mall and shop, exercise until you are exhausted and take a long walk. Go for a vacation. A little break from the city can do wonders. You could have a great time there.
Get help, you cannot do it all alone! It’s always better when you have someone there to see you through. This could be a friend or family member. Remember you are not alone. Forget the past and the future, live for the present.
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