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Whom Not To Marry If You Do Marry

Whom Not To Marry If You Do Marry

Everybody from your best friend to your maiden aunt gives advice on whom to marry. It rarely helps. So consider counsel on whom not to marry.

DON'T marry if one or more of the following conditions exist:

1. If one of you relentlessly asks questions like, "Do you love me?" or "Do you really care about me?"

2. If when you are together you spend most of your time disagreeing and quarreling (even if you miss each other when you are not together).

3. If you don't really know each other as persons, even though you have spent a great deal of time together.

4. If you are both still very young (roughly, under 22). Most young marriages end in divorce or separation.

5. If you are marrying mainly to get away from your own home and family or to have someone take care of you.

6. If your decision to get married has been largely influenced by your prospective father-in-law or mother-in-law. A surprising number of people are attracted by the warm acceptance, the flattery, the wealth or even the cooking of a potential in-law.

7. If you keep having thoughts like, "Maybe things will be better after we're married," or your prospective mate continues in a particular behavior you don't like before marriage and promises "to change" after marriage. It rarely happens!

8. If your fiancé has behavior traits that you can't stand (such as non-stop talking) and you avoid the issue for fear of giving offense.

9. If your partner insists that you drop all your old friends and start afresh.

10. If, after you've given it some thought, you discover you are marrying a sex object, not a person. Sexual excitement soon fades if there is no mutual sharing of personal values and affection for each other as persons.

11. If you're joining the parade to the altar because all your friends are getting married.

12. If you are lonely or tired of trying to make it on your own and even a shaky marriage seems better than being single.

13. If you are on the rebound from a disappointment in another relationship.

14. If the only reason you are marrying is to deal with an untimely pregnancy. If there are no common values or goals, mutual respect, or shared interests to support the relationship, look carefully first at other options: adoption, single parenting, or delaying marriage until you are sure you are both ready to make a lifetime commitment to each other.(

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